I took a date. Well, not really a date. My date was ugly. Personally, I could have done better. You know, his beard was too scruffy for the occasion.
Solomon (my friend/date) prepped me on all this wedding stuff. He’d been to one of these before. I believed him. In my eyes, he was a professional but man was he ugly.
It was raining and it was New Year’s and the hotel happened to be enormous. When I say it was New Year’s at a nice hotel in China it means that there is more than one wedding going on at once (maybe more than ten). Getting married on New Year’s is pregnant with all kinds of luck here. Not knowing Graces Chinese name we walked from one building to the next peeking our heads in doorways and dodging out of them faster than we entered. I was thinking I could write about how sometimes Grace is hard to find and twist it into a cheesy Christian allegory.
I’ll refrain. But really, don’t you think that sometimes Waldo might be easier to find than Grace.
Eureka! We found Grace. Amazing! How sweet the sound. Well, she looked amazing and she was thrilled to see us at her wedding. She made inarticulate giddy girl sounds. Her husband was a military man dressed to the nines. His English name was Forrest, as in Gump. We signed the guest book (more like the big red banner book) and walked into the banquet hall where family and friends were gathered. They gawked and stared at us like we were the Bride. We weren’t the Bride. We were only white. We took our seats and waited.
It began at seven but it really began at eight. In China, it doesn’t matter as long as it just begins.
People were happy. Speeches were given. Bows were exchanged. Friend and family were spoken of. A former student of hers (Grace is a teacher) from the school on late notice sang a song for Solomon and I. She picked a great song in my opinion, a classic, she sang “Scarborough Fair.” Food was brought. We started with a sweet soup. A lady next to me (Yolanda) told us that the soup (the first dish) was sweet to signify the sweetness of the wedding night. Seafood was brought out (I don’t know what that signified). Wine was poured (who really knows).
For sure, this was an expensive event. Grace, a teacher, doesn’t have much money. I was wondering how it was all getting paid for. Solomon pointed out that the table full of men near the front were footing the bill. They were The Leaders, he said. The Uncles. The guy’s who were giving face to the Bride and Groom. The guys whom the Bride and Groom would go on giving face to for the rest of their lives. They were The Hosts of the party. The Masters of the Banquet. And of course they were having a great time. I mean, they were throwing a great party.
In China the Bride and Groom go around and toast every table. Congratulations and you look beautiful are said. Best Wishes and Peace and Love and all those other pleasantries are exchanged for the next hour or so.
This is where The Masters of the Banquet try to trick the Bride and Groom into getting drunk. Grace and Forrest had smaller glasses and their own wine that everyone knew was watered down. The Masters, not to be fooled, poured them their wine from their table and gave them their bigger glasses instead. It was funny to watch. They had to go around and toast each member of the table. This is where the bridesmaid and groomsman come into play. They drink on behalf of the bride and groom. They help absorb the lush trickery of The Masters. This doesn’t detour the Masters one bit. No, one of them occupies the bridesmaid with a cheers and another Master hands the bride a drink and demands a clink. A tricky and funny bunch those Masters are. Everyone was smiling.
Eventually Grace made it over to our table. I reckon I will never truly understand the social dynamics of the Chinese culture. After all I am only a visitor. We gave her a toast. And she said with all smiles, “You being here has made my wedding more impressive!” I shrugged it off. What Bride in her right mind would tell two scruffy dudes that they made her wedding more impressive. But I was told that her word choice was not a mistake. She told us to come to her house anytime we wanted. This is where Solomon told me that we gave her a lot of face (honor) for being at her wedding and that her inviting us to her house was a way of saying that she owed us big time for attending. Forrest and Grace moved on to the next table. I reckon, I’ll never truly understand the social dynamics of the Chinese culture.
The Masters were finished with Forrest and Grace but they weren’t finished with the Foreigners. In a matter of seconds we were duped into drinking barrels of wine for various of ridiculous and unsubstantiated reasons. Apparently we were giving large amounts of face (honor) to Grace and Forrest by doing this with The Masters of the Banquet. Or at least that’s what my scruffy date was telling me. On the surface it looked like we were just getting drunk . . . plastered . . . smashed. But he assured me that this was not the case. With bellies full of wine it was now an ‘impressive wedding.’ A ceremony signifying love, unity and matrimony. As the Chinese say, it was all Harmonious!
It wasn’t until the next morning until I began jotting down some of these memories that I started thinking about something else. Another wedding. I opened to John chapter 2 verses 1 through 11.
. . . there was a wedding in the village of Cana in Galilee. Jesus’ mother was there. Jesus and his disciples were guests also. When they started running low on wine at the wedding banquet, Jesus’ mother told him, “They’re just about out of wine.”
Jesus said, “Is that any of our business, Mother – yours or mine? This isn’t my time. Don’t push me.” She went ahead anyway, telling the servants, “Whatever he tells you, do it.” (I guess even Jesus wasn’t allowed to talk-back to the Immaculate Mary – [insert a Jewish mother joke]).
Six stoneware water pots were there, used by the Jews for ritual washings. Each held about twenty to thirty gallons. Jesus ordered the servants, “Fill the pots with water.” And they filled them to the brim. “Now fill your pitchers and take them to the host,” Jesus said, and they did.
When the Host tasted the water that had turned into wine (he didn’t know what had just happened but the servants, of course, knew), he called out to the bridegroom, “Everybody I know begins with their finest wines and after the guests have had their fill brings in the cheap stuff. But you’ve saved the best till now!” This act in Cana of Galilee was the first sign Jesus gave, the first glimpse of his glory.
I reckon I will never truly understand what happened that day in Cana of Galilee. I mean, I’ll never understand the social, political and religious dynamics brooding below the surface. I mean, I’m only a visitor to the text. I’ve read this passage plenty of times and have heard sermons, homilies and even lectures on it. I’ve read Biblical Commentaries on John 2 but I’ve never experienced like I did that morning thinking about Graces wedding.
So now I know that I don’t know anything about 1st Century Jewish weddings, 21st Century Chinese weddings or Jesus’ Miracles. What do I know? I know that Grace got drunk the other night and by watching her something happened in me that took something as familiar as John chapter 2 and made it into something unfamiliar.
No comments:
Post a Comment